First Holiday Following Your Divorce?
Five Things You Should Do This Year
This year is definitely different from year's past with the Covid-19 pandemic. It may feel even more uncomfortable and lonely if this is your first holiday season since your divorce.
Is this it? Is this the first time since the birth of your kids that you will be forced to spend at least part of the holiday without your children? That's no fun and the first year will prove to be the hardest. Although it will be very different, the entire holiday season doesn’t have to be bad. Here are a few tips.
1. Understand that life will be different moving forward. Things won't be the same as they were but it's ok. Embrace the change!
2. Plan early! Plan your holiday schedule with your ex in advance. Don’t wait until the last minute to coordinate the kids. Remember that they want to spend time with both of their parents.
3. Christmas does not have to be Dec 25th! If you won’t be with your kids on the 25th, simply plan a “Special Christmas” when you will be. There is no reason to give up anything, just rearrange.
4. If you will be without the kids on Christmas this year, reach out to friends and extended family. Nobody should be alone on Christmas day. Don’t spend it alone!
5. Start something new. To help everyone with the new normal, create some new traditions that you can continue year after year.
Do not let your emotions get the best of you. If this is your first Holiday as a single person, you are still in the grieving process and you can expect to have some emotional ups and downs. Do your best to think about your new future and try not to dwell on the past. Think of new possibilities. Are there activities that you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time? Now’s the time to make it happen! Take an art class! Schedule a weekend trip out of town with a girlfriend or a spa day all by yourself. Of course, as a financial planner I must remind you to stay within your budget.
Speaking of budgets, do not let yourself fall into the “best parent” trap of trying to outspend your ex on presents. The kids can see right through it and trust me, they don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll love all of your gifts, but what they really want is your time, not your money. Escape from the electronics and buy a board game or something that will force everyone to interact with each other for an extended period. These are the memories the kids will treasure - and you will too.
Good luck this Holiday season. Remember, this is a new beginning, you have an opportunity now on how you will create your future. Make the best of it – you can do it!
